Tea Time Quarrels
by ElizaDolittle1
Summary: Four lucky ladies have entered a contest and won the chance to have tea with the wonderful and incomparable Julie Andrews! Crossover story Relative Values, Eloise, On Golden Pond


_Author's note: I was really bored when I wrote this, I hope everyone enjoys my first story posted here!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters...plot is mine!**

OoOoO

"Charlotte," the once Queen of Genovia's voice rang out as she briskly searched the hallways in vain for her dear friend and helpful assistant. "Charlotte?" Clarisse called again as the heels of her shoes clicked against the elegant marble floors of the palace. Anxiously she headed down the main staircase towards the desk where Shades sat keeping close eye on the small TV set displaying the video cameras scattered across the palace grounds.

"Your Majesty," Shades began to say respectfully to the dowager queen, rising to his feet.

"Have you seen Charlotte?" she asked, looking over her shoulder hoping to see Charlotte hurrying by, but alas it was one of the tireless maids at work.

"Have you checked with Queen Mia? Surely she has some idea," Shades replied, keeping a steady eye on the camera while trying to devote his attention to the former queen.

"If only I could find Mia..." Clarisse sighed to herself, turning on her heel and hastening back towards the stairwell. "Thank you, Shades," she called, the edges of her skirt rustling as she hurried to find that elusive granddaughter of hers.

O

"Charlotte, you're an angel. How Grandma managed with these crusty politicians and their cruel letters of advice, I shall never know. What would I do without you?" Mia remarked after finishing the gruelling process of responding to the men—and more recently, women—of Parliament.

"Charlotte?" Mia winced, biting her lip and taking a hopeful breath, "Do we have any other meetings or appointments planned for today?"

"No," Charlotte smiled, "We're all finished for today."

"Freedom!" Mia exclaimed, jumping out of the chair behind the desk quite recklessly. Her moment of joy came to a halt with the devastating sound of an object smashing to the floor. "Charlotte," Mia winced again, biting her lip as before and closing her eyes, "Lots of pieces?"

"Yes," the other woman replied, looking at the broken shards on the floor.

"Looks expensive?" Mia said, still keeping her eyes closed.

"Yes," Charlotte said, trying to remember when the palace had acquired that piece.

"Grandma's?" Mia finished, opening one eye to see Charlotte nod slowly. "I'm doomed!" she cried, looking at the many pieces of broken pottery on the ground. While together, it had been a lovely item bought during travels in Turkey for matters of state.

"Quick, we need to—" Mia started, but went silent after hearing the faint noise of her grandmother's heels approaching. "She's coming," she said with a look of dismay. "Hide me!" she squeaked, jumping behind the sofa on the other side of the office.

"What should I do?" Charlotte said with worry, looking at the broken pottery on the ground and then to the couch and Mia hiding behind it. "Shhh!" Mia warned, popping her head up from behind the couch.

Tip-toeing across the shards of glass that had landed near her, Charlotte hurried to the door and carefully left the room. Slowly she closed the door, trying not to make a sound and seem as if nothing had happened.

"There you are, Charlotte!" Clarisse beamed, approaching her.

"Your Majesty!" Charlotte yelped, turning around in surprise.

"I had hoped you might be able to help me," Clarisse began hopefully.

"Of course," Charlotte answered, guiding their place of conversation away from Mia's office and its broken contents.

"You do know the work of Julie Andrews, do you not?" Clarisse said quite seriously.

"One Special Night is to die for…" Charlotte sighed, going off into a semi-daze of remembering Julie Andrews and James Garner kissing.

"As it happens, I've found a delightful contest to win a glorious vacation in Los Angeles and then have tea with Mary Poppins!" Clarisse said excitedly. How she had always wanted to meet such an amazing lady…

"You needn't say more," Charlotte said, stopping and motioning for Clarisse to halt.

"Oh Charlotte, you really are a dear," Clarisse thanked her while grasping her hand loosely.

O

After entering Clarisse into the contest under a false name for security reasons, the waiting began. After about a week of waiting for the telephone call that was possibly to come, excitement kept running through Clarisse at the thought of meeting Julie Andrews!

Sitting behind a mound of papers ready to be mailed in Queen Amelia's office, Charlotte's cell phone began to ring, drawing her away from her work.

"Is this the household of Clarisse Mignonette?" a stiff voice asked on the other end.

"The household of whom?" Charlotte asked in bewilderment.

"Clarisse Mignonette," the voice repeated in an annoyed tone.

"Of course! Clarisse! How could I forget?" Charlotte laughed nervously.

"After several draws and selections, she, along with three other women, has won the position for a cap o' tea with Julie Andrews!' the person said with a hint of amusement after adding the Eliza line.Charlotte grinned at hearing this; she was the assistant to a Queen, and she was capable of a great many things, including winning a contest to have tea with the one and only Julie Andrews!

"From the address given already, you should be expecting further information in the mail shortly," the caller said, giving the routine speech.

After a few more words with the person on the other end, the call ended and Charlotte dashed off to tell 'Clarisse Mignonette' the wonderful news.

O

Bustling through the busy lines of waiting fans to meet Julie, Clarisse and Charlotte made their way over to the place in the hotel lobby specified in the information package.

Confirming with the people at the doors that Clarisse was who she said she was, and saying goodbye to Charlotte, Clarisse peeked into the large room in which she was to be waiting for Julie. Closing the large door behind her, she was greeted by the stares of several other women looking up at the new face coming into the room.

Seated in large comfortable looking chairs, the women's eyes followed her as she approached. One of them, a woman very much Clarisse's own size, with graying hair twisted back into a tight bun, wisps of hair floating as she walked, came to greet her warmly.

"I believe you're the last to arrive for our little tea party, it's all so exciting!" the woman squealed with delight as she shook Clarisse's hand. "If we're to have tea together we should likely know each other's names then?" she smiled, walking next to Clarisse, rejoining the quietly waiting ladies who were seated.

"Aowww, come on girls, won't anyone say a thing?" she continued with her rather difficult to hide cockney accent.

After a while one of the ladies finally spoke "Felicity," she said as eyed Clarisse strangely, "Felicity Marshwood."

Clarisse exchanged smiles with the lady and then spoke her name with caution, trying to remember her false identity.

"You look quite familiar," Felicity said, observing Clarisse closely. Was she completely loony to think that she might have seen this stranger at an elegant party in England ages ago? It was possible, but with this blasted headache she did not feel herself at all!

"I don't believe we've met..." Clarisse lied; she too recognized this face from a lovely party many years ago.

The room slowly fell silent with all four women seated and awkwardly gazing around at the others in the room.

"I suppose now is a better time then never to introduce myself," the lady sitting to the left of Felicity spoke up. She wore a simple pair of pants accompanied by a likely new shirt and scarf. "Ethel," she said, looking to the others, "Thayer," she finished, somewhat embarrassed at the sound of her names when said together.

Sharing pleasant smiles and nods to each other they fell silent once more. The one lady who had kindly approached Clarisse first sat slightly slumped in her chair, looking around the room.

"I don't believe you said your name..." Clarisse said softly.

Surrounded by elegant names like Clarisse and Felicity and the heart-warming ring to Ethel Thayer's name, how could a name like Nanny or Nan be appropriate? For lord's sake! "Nanny," she squeaked in reply.

To Nanny's relief, no one remarked about her title or questioned the reason of it. Actually, no one remarked at all…

How silly it was sitting in silence with these ladies, Ethel thought. "We're quite fortunate to have won this contest, us four," she blabbed, trying to make conversation.

"I had lady luck with me when I heard about this lovely affair," the cockney woman who called herself Nanny said. "The very people who organized this special day were at the Plaza, thank heavens my charge tends to know everything and anything that is going on over there!"

"Your charge?" Clarisse asked, hoping Nanny would explain the situation properly.

"Yes, her name is Eloise. She's 6 years old, and she's quite the handful!" Nanny shook her head and thought about the little girl back home running about and pestering all the staff of the Plaza.

"I didn't even know I had won until yesterday," Ethel scoffed. "My husband, Norman, entered my name in the ad he saw in the paper. He explained yesterday morning that he thought I should have one more highlight in my life before I kicked the bucket. That old poop! He's so morbid!" she frowned, folding her arms and wiggling in her chair to be more comfortable.

The four shared a laugh over Norman with his trivial ways and found themselves quite happy in each other's presence.

To add to the stories of how each found their way to winning, Felicity explained herself "Originally I entered the contest for my personal maid Moxie, who is also a dear friend to me. As it happens, she was not able to be here in America, so I was delighted to be here in her place."

"Are you not from here?" Ethel asked curiously.

"No, I live in Marshwood Manor in England," she answered quickly. Certainly she wasn't the only one from 'across the pond'.

Clarisse mentally smacked herself on the forehead. Lady Marshwood! Of course it was! Hopefully Lady Marshwood wouldn't make the connection that she was the Dowager Queen of Genovia.

"England!" Nanny piped up. How lovely to meet someone from her homeland. "I haven't been back in a very long, long, long time. I do so hope it hasn't changed," Nanny said with hope.

"Sadly," Felicity said, "Things have been changing; the matter of social status and titles is rocky and has been shifting quite easily," she said coolly, wondering if any of these women cared about that subject anyway.

"Oh," Nanny said; her voice was one of hurt and she felt Felicity's words strike deep on the comment of station and titles.

"Well," Ethel sighed, "It seems I'm the only one who has no regal or European effect to them!" she said, motioning to Clarisse. "I must say, you seem so...Queen like!" Ethel laughed in surprise at her words.

Clarisse shifted in dismay, was this cover act not good enough for the ladies of this room? "Yes, I too live 'over there'," Clarisse said vaguely. If she were to detail the country of Genovia, she had a feeling Felicity might catch on.

"Where in Europe?" Felicity asked. The tension between Clarisse and Felicity became entirely visible as they both recognized each other as Dowager Queen Clarisse and Lady Marshwood.

"Genovia," Clarisse said quietly. Only one of them knowing her true identity was not nearly as bad as all four!

After Clarisse's short reply, the room grew quite silent again. Felicity and Clarisse knew each other but wouldn't admit it, Nanny was deeply hurt by the stations comment made by Felicity and Ethel...she was lost amidst the flying signals between these women.

Trying to lighten up the tension in the room, the latter woman began to speak. "Which movie, in your opinion, is Julie's best? I simply adore _Victor/Victoria! Oh Baby won't you play me…" _

"_Victor/Victoria_, without a doubt, my very favourite also," Felicity nodded in agreement with Ethel.

"Aowww, no! _The Sound Of Music _is definitely the finest of her collection," Nanny countered back, "But I do rather enjoy the boxing scene in _Victor/Victoria_," she quickly added.

"I was fortunate to have seen _My Fair Lady _in London's West End, and I much prefer that, but in a sense of movies, _The Sound Of Music _is very well done. I do still think though that _Mary Poppins _exceeds the rest," Clarisse said firmly.

"_Mary Poppins_!" Felicity scoffed, "You can tell she's not really that perfect!" she stated as she crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair.

"I happen to think _Hawaii_ is another excellent movie," Ethel put between the spitting opinions flying back and forth.

"Bullocks!" Nanny cried; how she loathed that wretched Abner!

Clarisse and Felicity were engaged in a staring match, both hoping the other would give in first and admit that the other's opinion was the correct one.

Clarisse, still keeping her eyes firm and cold on Felicity, spoke another film's name "One of best made that often people don't see is The Americanization of Emily."

Felicity's jaw dropped after Clarisse suggested that film. Clarisse must have guessed that Felicity was not a fan of that particular movie!

Ethel was completely lost within this hissing words being tossed at each other, maybe a new topic would mend it? "What about on stage? I was never able to have seen her work, but I do still own the Camelot record! Isn't it marvellous?"

Nanny nodded in agreement with Ethel, "Camelot is very, very, very good. I would love to be on stage with Robert Goulet in tights any day."

Felicity gave one for cold stare to Clarisse as if to say 'Watch this'. "I do not like Camelot what so ever. That Queen Guenevere represents how queens today romance freely with whom ever they choose."

Clarisse's eyes filled with rage at this. Joseph was the man she loved! Nothing should separate them.

"You of all people should know this, Queen Clarisse," Felicity said the final straw as she spoke her name.

Ethel looked between these to women and said, "Holy Hanna Banana! You _are_ a queen!"

Nanny was in complete awe, a queen! In her presence! For lord sakes! "Oh my sainted Aunt Fanny," she gasped, "_Queen_ Clarisse?"

"Take a good look, ladies, that's the highest station you should ever likely see," Felicity said almost in a hiss.

For Nanny, that was quite enough for her. "Aowww, how dare you say such a thing? Who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba?"

"As a matter of fact," Felicity sat up, "I am Lady Marshwood of Marshwood Manor."

The matter of meeting Julie was dropped at this point while Nanny, Clarisse and Felicity began to curse, yell and insult each other.

Ethel sat and watched this. How could people say these things about each other? She tried to stop them once, "Please stop yelling everyone." That didn't stop them. So she tried again, a little louder this time. "PLEASE! Stop it!" They didn't do anything of the sort. Nanny had now taken Clarisse's side in the fight and they were both insulting Felicity. Ethel had had quite enough; she stood up and put her hands on her hips saying "ARE YOU QUITE FINISHED?"

The room went dead quiet as the women looked to Ethel standing and looking quite cross with everyone. "We are not here," she said " To yell, banter and curse at each other."

Ethel opened her mouth to continue but was stopped by the doors being opened quickly and a man popping in to say, "5 minutes, girls, and she's coming your way!"

The fight was immediately forgotten and they all began to fidget with their clothing. Do I look ok? Is my hair proper? I hope I don't make a fool of myself!

Clarisse adjusted her clothing till she liked the way it was falling on her and looked up to see Felicity's eyes on her. This time it was not a cool stare, it said something along the lines of 'Please forgive me, we're here to meet Julie, not to be enemies.' Clarisse let a smile escape and understood where she was coming from. She gave the same look back and Felicity gave a sigh of relief.

Ethel sat back and watched this with a smile, no more fighting! She was just as pleased a few seconds later when Felicity did the same with Nanny, and she accepted the apology right away.

The doors flew open and the fellow came hurrying back in, "Here she is! I would like you to meet Julie Andrews" he said with a wink.

With one more smile to each other and a feeling of understanding with no more anger towards each other, the four women stood and took deep breaths as the moment of truth came. In came the lady they were waiting to see, looking radiant and beautiful. The second she smiled in their direction, they knew they were to have the most lovely time, with no more harsh words and _no_ tea time quarrels.


End file.
